The Church of Ed Wood proudly presents
HOLY DAYS OF OBLIGATION as well as the
HOLY WOODIAN CALENDAR


UPDATED January 3rd, 2004


In the beginning of 1994, Reverend Steve Galindo created a list of important dates in the life of Ed Wood so that he could have days of rememberance for his favorite celebrity. This was pre-Woodism, way before Reverend Steve created the world's first and only legal religion based on Edward D. Wood Jr. Steve just wanted days to remember Ed by. In 1996, a few months after the birth of Steve's mock cult, ED WOOD = GOD, Steve decided to ressurect these dates, along with a few extra, and place them on his web site as "Holy Days." Why make his old list of important dates "holy days?" Well, that same year he was upset over all the people at work that got Easter off, so he created his own Woodian holy days so that those that claim Woodism as their official religion could flip off the christians and the catholics and get few days off of work for their OWN religion! Great idea, huh?

When the destructon of the first Woodian temple took place, Reverend Steve lost virtually ALL of the Ed Wood Holy Days. It was only until recently, thanks in part to Woodian Reverend and long time believer REVEREND DANIEL KING, that Reverend Steve was able to unearth all the original Ed Wood Holy days that are now reprinted here for your pleasure.

During a Woodian Holy Day, it is customary to not go to work, school, or any hard grueling physical work. During these days, one must drink alcohol (or a soda substitute), eat pizza (or any fatty, unhealthy food you wish), dress in the clothes of the opposite sex, and pleasure yourself, all the while trying to gain spiritual acceptance within the spirit that is Ed. A woodian holy day is all about being happy and making yoruself happy, so get drunk, get high, read a good book, go to the movies - whatever makes your own self happy, for that is what Ed would do if he were there with you.



THE WOODIAN HOLY DAYS (listed in standard months)


FEB. 5th
Tor Johnson's Death: a sad time for quiet reflection on Tor's life. this is also a good time to watch bad movies, drink, and watch pro-wrestling

MARCH 15th
World Premiere of "Plan 9": a great day to watch Ed's seminal-fantastic work of elaborate, masterful sub-geniusness!

MARCH 22nd
Reverend Steve's Birthday: this has been dubbed "Galindomas" by the Woodites out there.

APRIL
National "Glen or Glenda?" Month of Rememberance

MAY 12th
Ed's film "Jailbait" is released

JUNE 1st
"Plan 9 from Outer Space" is released

JULY 14th
Criswell Day of Remembrance: this is HIS day. this date has no specific meaning - we just wanted a day for Criswell. Try to watch one of his films this day.

NOV. 5th
"Bunny" Dies

NOV. 15th
Ex-Day: A day to remember the ex-es of your life, be it ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, or both. Now, look here. I created this religion. So I make uo my own holy days. When you make up your own religion, then you can make up days, too.

NOV. 18th
The Heavenly Wood religion is created

DEC. 10th
Ed Wood dies: now THIS, along with Woodmas, should be a national holiday. As for me, I never work or go to school on BOTH dates. I just drink and drink and drink.



THE HEAVENLY WOOD COVENANT OF HAPPINESS
and the
HOLY WOODIAN CALENDAR

The Covenant of Happiness is a period from August to the end of October during which ten holy days fall. In this LENT-like time, a person who is fully in tune with the ways of the Woodites tries to honor Ed by living one's life in an extended party. It begins with the Ed Wood Day of Remembrance, a day for preaching, a day to spend with friends, and a day to not be afraid to be yourself, all the while remembering Ed. The second holy day, the death of Bela Lugosi, is not a sad day but a happy day when one tries to remember him by watching one or more of his films.

The last day of the Covenant of Happiness is Halloween, Ed Wood's favorite holliday. As such, Halloween acts as the Woodian New Year within the WOODIAN CALENDAR. The Woodian callendar starts on November 1948, the year Ed made his first film, STREETS OF LAREDO. So, in our callendar, November 1948 to October 1949 is Woodian Year 1, which means we are currently [October, 2003] in WY55 with 56 coming at the end of this month.

Yeah, it's a bit comfusing to us, too. We don't use it a lot. We use it to sort of impress people but to fully understand it you need math and we all hate math, so it's a concept that pretty much is just gathering dust. We might re-work it one day. We might not. No rush.

The Woodian Calendar goes like this.


WM1 - WOODISM (replacing November)
WM2 - DECEMBER
WM3 - JANUARY
WM4 - TOR
WM5 - ESTEBAN
WM6 - SHIRLEY


WM7 - MAY
WM8 - JUNE
WM9 - JUBILEE
WM10 - CRISWELL
WM11 - BELA
WM12 - WOOD


WM 10 through 12, the last three months in the Woodian Calendar, are known as THE COVENENTAL MONTHS, for their inclusion in the most holy Covenant.


The BIGGEST DAY of the covenant is OCTOBER 10th, which is the holy day of WOODMAS, the day of our savior's birth. It is customary to give Ed Wood-style presents to those you love, as well as dress in the clothes of the opposite sex and drink.


CRIS. 14
Ed Wood Day of Remembrance

CRIS. 16th
Bela's Death: now, this date really does go beyond Woodism. Bela did so much before he fell in love with our savior Ed, so try to see some of his work, either Wood-related or otherwise, on this sad day.

CRIS. 18th
Criswell's Birthday

CRIS. 28th
Ed Wood makes "Streets of Laredo"

BELA 12th
Ed Wood Film Appreciation Day

BELA 27th
Woodism Day of Happiness: now, this will be a long one ... I created the Covenant of Happiness to be a time where life is lives as a gigantic party. Now, the covenant was originally supposed to be a happy time for me but somehow, and this is true, all the worst things in my life have happened during this time, these covenetial months. And yet, I know that this is just Ed testing me like he was tested so much in his films. So, as long as I can make it to this day in one piece, I know that the worst has come and the rest of the month won't be that bad.

WOOD 10th
WOODMAS: on this day, our savior was born! This is our CHRISTMAS and it is the holiest day in the Woodian calendar!

WOOD 25th
ED's Play "The Casual Company" Premieres: so try and go see a play on this day, especially if it's going to suck.

WOOD 29th
"Bride of the Monster" begins filming

WOOD 31st
Halloween/WOODIAN NEW YEAR's EVE: this was Ed's favorite holiday, the one day he got to dress up like his tv cowboy heroes, his favorite movie monsters, or, like in "Glenda," dressing up in his sister's clothes. So, this is our new year's eve and there'll be a bright new year for us all the next morning!




These are the Heavenly Wood Holy Days of Obligation. If you are a Woodian, you are obligated to celebrate these holy days properly according to your own individual ontos. These days are here for us to better remember our savior and do as he did within our own lives!

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1997 ReverendSteve@edwood.org