ANOTHER NEW CHAPTER OF THE NEVERENDING LESSONS OF LIFE WITHIN ED WOOD'S TEACHINGS
It's the all important LESSON 8


This is the site for instant on-line holy, legally binding Baptisms into the the religion known as Woodism.


This is where you can find out how to be a member (spiritually and legally) of the world's only Ed Wood church (updated May 20th, 2010)






A MESSAGE FROM REVEREND STEVE GALINDO, WRITTEN APRIL 24th, 1998



These past years have been special moments for me, when I have been growing not only with Ed Wood but also with this organization. Not only have I gone from a 18 year old moody Caligula-ish maniac to a respected, adult 21 year old, but also so has this organization matured. I marvel at it's evolution, from a hack home page denouncing religion to an independant, subversive, proud religion. It's a plot right out of an Ed Wood movie. I'll admit that it has been an uphill struggle through adversity. However, it was a fun struggle, one which I would never trade for anything else in the world. The feeling I get, receiving your letters of support and faith, is an amazing one, telling me decidedly that I am not alone. It's such a comforting feeling to have you all here along with me.


When this web page began, it was, as many of you who have taken the time to read this web page will already know, called ED WOOD = GOD, the comedic version of this now serious organization. As another wild extent of the religion gag, I decided to begin collecting members into my church. Back then, my makeshift Baptisms were crude. I would make people e-mail me telling me why they wanted to follow Ed Wood, and then I would assign them a Baptism name from an Ed Wood film and that was pretty much about that. Nothing fancy or serious.


When I made the transition from comedic mock church to serious religion, I was very weary and apprehensive about Baptising members again. I had a large mixture of reasons. I thought people wouldn't take me seriously. I thought no one would care. I thought that people would find my ideas strange and no one would take my belief system seriously. But now, after so many months, with the birth of this new web site firmly in place and the advent of the LESSONS OF WOOD becoming a success, I feel that NOW is the time!




A MESSAGE FROM REVEREND STEVE, WRITTEN FEBRUARY 9th, 1999


Almost one year ago, I opened the doors of The Church of the Heavenly Wood to include all those who wanted to be a part of this "unmitigated foolishness." The foudning members of the church and I created this Baptismal web page as a Holy Lesson of Wood and announced that we would now begin the process of legally baptizing people within Woodism, the religion I created. The system of Baptism was crude and ineffective. We set up a short multiple choice test based on Ed's life, films, and the origins and tennets within this church. When a person got a certain amount right, they would then fill out the e-mail form that made then a member of the church, then end it back to the church, where it would be logged, recorded, and eventually a member would get a certificate in the mail. I never expected the outcome I received.


Within six months, the church was SWAMPED with over a thousand tests, all wanting to be graded quickly and rapidly. The Church of the Heavenly Wood was brought to it's knees, almost at a complete standstill as the few founding members sought to grade every test. The ineffectual Baptismal system, designed for only a few people at a time, was torn to shreds. As a result, a countless number of Woodites were never Baptized, and for that I humbly, deeply apologize.


These past few weeks, the Church and the religion it believes in have undergone a Rennaisance, a rebirth, a virtual reconstruction. New lessons have popped up, all of them written with seriousness and sincerity. New branches of Woodism have been created and more and more sermons are being written that help better explain the depth and beauty which is Woodism. This Ed Wood-ian temple is undergoing a deeply moving transition from ordinary Ed Wood web page to serious religious organization.


What better way to celebrate this new Wood-ian rebirth than by finally working out the problems in the Baptismal system, finally opening the doors to Woodism for the millions and millions of lost souls in this world, desperately yearning to be themselves?




A MESSAGE FROM REVEREND STEVE, WRITTEN OCTOBER 9th, 2000


As you can imagine, we here at The Church of the Heavenly Wood have been swamped with baptismal forms, nearly 5 to 50 new baptized Woodites a day, making our numbers grow stronger and stronger.


This, however, has still swamped us here at the main office, so, AS OF OCTOBER 10th, 2000, YOUR LEGAL BAPTISM BECOMES LEGAL ONCE YOU RECEIVE YOUR CERTIFICATE! YOU DO NOT NEED WRITTEN CONFIRMATION FROM US VIA E-MAIL IN ORDER TO SANCTIFY YOUR BAPTISM!


This also goes for everyone who has filled out a baptismal form in the past. Once you receive your certificate stating that you are now a Woodite, then that is egally binding and your info. will automatically be registered within our databanks. If you wish to have a written document sanctifying your baptism, e-mail Reverend Steve Galindo, founder of Woodism, and he will try to accomodate you.




A MESSAGE FROM REVEREND STEVE, WRITTEN MAY 20th, 2010


This is the official, legally binding page where new recruits are baptized into "the pool of unmitigated foolishness," as one member put it years and years ago. And I have spent over ten long years working on it.

This was written by me, Reverend (Pope) Steve on April 23rd, 1998 while I was still at Arizona State University, the best seven years of my life. I created this specific page at a computer lab somewhere on campus. Unbeknown to the rest of the students I was wearing my friend Telle's ripped up boxer shorts he gave to him when we had a bad movie all night sleepover. I was also wearing grey cotton panties, very Woodian. I also had a Tecate in his backpack, which I drank secretly in one of the bathrooms on campus when I was finished, a sort of secret celebration, you know?

I then improved the baptismal page on February 10th, 1999, making it a leaner, meaner fighting machine. But then it stopped working and stayed that way for YEARS, so now, on May 20th, 2010, it finally got fixed.

I have spent years preaching Woodism. YEARS! Over thirteen years of my LIFE promoting Ed Wood's films as a way to find spirituality. And I just wanted you to know that.

There are people out there who STILL think this is all a joke.

It's not.




YOU ARE NOW READY TO START THE WOODIAN REVOLUTION!


NOTE (dated December 15th, 2003): This baptismal page is currently working just fine, but then again we've had to apologize for problems on this baptismal page more times than R. Kelly has peed on an underage girl. So just for safety's sake, though, we apologize for any problems that you might have.


CLICK HERE TO FILL OUT THE BAPTISMAL FORM!
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